Why Does My Baby Cry Before They Go To Sleep?

There is something very unsettling about your little one crying before they go to sleep. It makes you question if you’ve got the timing right, or if they are fearful of their sleep space, or sleep itself! Lots of parents wonder if there is anything they can do about these tears. So, let’s explore the common reasons why babies cry before sleep and how we can navigate this…

The Mystery Behind Baby Tears:

There are a number of different reasons why your baby might be crying before sleep. The key to solving the issue is to unpick the reason it is happening in the first place. 

So here we go:

1. They have been awake too long and are dysregulated.
   1. Why does this mean tears: Just like us, babies can become cranky and irritable when they’re exhausted. Missing their natural sleep window or staying awake for too long between naps and bedtime can lead to them becoming extremely dysregulated. Dysregulated can make them cranky, tearful and hard to settle to sleep. 
   2. How to resolve it: Pay attention to your baby’s sleepy cues and consider bringing naps and bedtime 15 minutes earlier to relieve that excess sleep pressure.

2. Not Tired Enough
   1. Why does this mean tears? Because babies’ like to keep us guessing – being undertired can also cause tears around sleep! Children are going to struggle to fall asleep if they haven’t been awake long enough – as sufficient sleep pressure is needed to help them settle. Imagine being made to go to sleep when you aren’t tired enough – you might not be very happy with it either! Often these children are happy before getting ready for sleep, and perhaps even initially happy when being settled – but will then turn to tears.
   2. How to resolve it: Increase your baby’s awake time and ensure they have enough opportunities for active play and stimulation during the day to help them feel more tired and ready for sleep when sleep rolls around.

3. Discomfort or Pain
   1. Why does this mean tears? Well this ones kind of obvious – uncomfortable babies cry! And sometimes this peaks around sleep, because they are laid down (which can exacerbate some types of discomfort). Also, pre-sleep routines can signal the coming separation which can feel upsetting for a baby in pain. 
   2. How to resolve it: Make sure you are fully winding your baby throughout the day, and particularly after their bedtime feed. Consider bringing this final bedtime feed earlier in the routine too (if appropriate) to allow the milk to be digested. It can also help to gently massage them as part of their pre-sleep routine. Also check for other signs of discomfort, such as teething, and give them suitable pain relief.

4. Separation Anxiety
   1. Why does this mean tears? As babies get older, they may experience separation anxiety, especially at sleep time. Fear of being separated from their caregivers can cause babies to become clingy and resistant to sleep, resulting in tears and protests. 
   2. How to resolve it: Spend lots of 1:1 time ahead of sleep, and also practice short safe periods of separation in the day. When the tears are happening around sleep, offer comfort and reassurance rather than leaving them on their own.  

5. Overstimulation
   1. Why does this mean tears? Babies’ are highly sensitive to their environment, and overstimulation can trigger tears before sleep. Excessive noise, bright lights, or too much activity before bedtime can make it challenging for babies to wind down and relax. 
   2. How to resolve it: Create a calm and soothing environment ahead of sleep time, e.g. dimming the lights, reducing noise levels, putting away noisy toys, talking in quieter voices and turn off screens. This can help to signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep and prevent overstimulation.

6. Developmental Milestones
   1. Why does this mean tears? During certain developmental stages, such as learning to roll over or crawl, babies may become more restless and agitated before sleep. Their brains are busy processing new skills and experiences, making it harder for them to settle down. 
   2. How to resolve it: Just wait it out! Being patient and understanding, offering extra comfort and support as needed, can help babies feel secure and relaxed enough to fall asleep peacefully – but be prepared these phases can last a couple of weeks.

7. It’s just their temperament!
   1. Why does this mean tears? If you’ve ruled out all of the above, and you have always had tears around sleep – this may just be who your baby is! Sometimes, particularly with FOMO babies, they simply don’t want to go to sleep – and want to tell you about their strong opinions.
   2. How to resolve it: There’s no fix here – instead it’s about accepting it’s their temperament. Just offer support and comfort, and remember they aren’t distressed – they just don’t want to go to sleep!

There are many reasons why babies cry before sleep, and each baby is unique in their needs and preferences. By paying attention to your baby’s cues, providing comfort and reassurance, and creating a calm and soothing sleep environment, you can help ease their transition into sleep and bring a little less drama to your bedtime routine. 

And remember, it’s okay to seek support from healthcare professionals or sleep experts if you’re struggling to understand or address your baby’s crying before sleep!

Need some support with making changes to your child’s sleep? Book a FREE discovery call today to talk to us about our approach and methods.