How can I gently stop feeding my baby to sleep?

As a sleep coach, this is one of the main things people seek my help for – moving away from feeding their baby to sleep. Feeding to sleep can be an excellent way to support a child to sleep, it often gets them to sleep quickly and easily and can feel like such a lovely bonding moment. However, as your baby grows and develops, you may find that this feed-to-sleep routine becomes less sustainable for you (perhaps you want an evening off!) and you might want to build in some different sleep associations.

Transitioning away from feeding to sleep doesn’t have to be daunting or distressing (for you or for them!). With some preparation and some gentle techniques, you can navigate this change whilst staying fully responsive to your baby.

Firstly – do you actually need to make a change?

Before doing anything, I want you to take a moment to think about whether this change is necessary for you and your little one. Ask yourself:

  • Is feeding to sleep still working well for us, or has it become unsustainable?
  • Are nighttime awakenings becoming increasingly frequent, and does my baby struggle to fall back asleep without feeding?
  • Do I feel ready to establish different sleep associations with my baby?

Remember, there’s no rush or pressure to make this change if feeding to sleep is still working for you! Oh, and you don’t need to move away from feeding to sleep if you want to get someone else to do bedtime either. Other people can build different sleep associations with your baby, and you can continue to feed to sleep.

Gentle Techniques for Transitioning

However, if you are answering “YES” to all the questions above, read on for my top tips…

  1. Start by introducing other sleep associations: We can’t expect to just remove a sleep association without having anything else for our baby to rely on. Therefore, I recommend starting to stack other soothing methods on top of feeding. You can try gentle rocking, singing lullabies, patting, stroking or anything you think your baby will like. We aren’t expecting these associations to work as well as feeding – but they can ease the process of making the transition.
  2. Next, choose a transition method to tackle at bedtime. I always recommend starting with bedtime, as this is when children are most physically primed to fall asleep. Once you can successfully support to sleep without feeding at bedtime, you can springboard off this for naps or night wakings. Here are two different strategies:
    • Want to go slow – try gradual unlatching:
      • On the first night you try, you want to feed as usual before sleep but when the feeding gets fluttery, unlatch them from the breast. 
      • Gently close their mouth and continue with your ‘stacked sleep associations’ until asleep. 
      • If they stir, get upset or root for the breast, simply relatch and unlatch once the feeding gets fluttery. 
      • Rinse and repeat until they fall asleep without the breast. 
      • Over the course of a few weeks, start moving the feed earlier and earlier – adding in other parts of the bedtime routine between unlatching and supporting to sleep. This helps gradually distance feeding from sleep.
    • Need to speed things up – go cold turkey:
      • Alternatively, you can opt for a faster approach by simply moving the bedtime feed much earlier in the routine (e.g. before bath) and cuddling/rocking to sleep at bedtime. 
      • This approach can involve more tears than the gradual approach, but you are supporting your child through the big change. You are never leaving them alone to cry, as they are always in your arms throughout.

And moving forwards, simply be consistent: It’s easy to fall back into old habits when it comes to our children’s sleep – and we should never feel guilty about this. However, children also easily fall back into old habits, and can quickly get used to feeding to sleep again. It’s therefore important to be consistent with your new sleep habits! 

Moving away from feeding your baby to sleep is a personal decision – never feel pressured to make this change by someone else. However, if you’re ready to explore different ways of settling your baby to sleep, these gentle techniques can help you do it in the most responsive way possible. 

Need some support with making changes to your child’s sleep? Book a FREE discovery call today to talk to us about our approach and methods.